Only in Darkness Can You See The Stars

only in the darkness can you see the stars
- Martin Luther King Jr.
A very powerful message...

Sometimes it is not until you are surrounded with the darkness that sometimes creeps up in life, that you awaken and realize that the stars are always there. Even when we can't see them, they're there. Even when the sun is the brightest star in the sky, all the other stars are still shining. Their brightness always exists,

This brings you to realize to have faith. The faith that the stars are there. The faith they they are shining. The faith to know that when everything seems dark, the light is still there, still shining for you in all ways.

Sometimes it takes the darkness to see things in a different light... ;)

Alethea Anderson


Some People Choose NOT to Be In Your Life

Sometimes people choose not to be in your life. At first you don't see it. Or you subconsciously choose not to see it. Or perhaps you just don't want to believe it. However one day a light will illuminate the way and you'll see it as plain as day with flashing lights "they don't WANT to be in your life anymore".

This can be a very difficult time. You may resist. You may try to keep opening that door. Perhaps you feel a 'guilt', you feel like maybe it is your fault that they don't want to  be in your life anymore. You reach out over and over,  and the response is less and less. A phone conversation abruptly ended. An email conversation strangely stopped with no closure. You sit there and you wonder what YOU did to make them not want to be in your life anymore.

After they've closed that door, you still prop it open, thinking maybe they'll change their mind. Maybe they'll WANT to be in your life again. Maybe they'll realize how much they've missed all these years. Maybe they'll realize all the time that has gone by. Maybe they'll realize that now they are a stranger in the life of someone they could be close with.

Over the years it gets to a point that phone calls are strange and uncomfortable, so they stop. It gets to a point that social media messaging is pointless and meaningless.

Only to feel guilt again "WAIT is it ME?" - "what did I do to chase them away?" - "what did I NOT do?"


WHAT? You break down and apologize. A heartfelt apology, you think of everything they MUST be thinking. You ASSume WHY they've stepped away from you life. You feel that it MUST be you, so you say 'sorry'.

Only, once again, to be slapped in the face by reality because you once again opened the door realizing you apologized even though it was not you.

Time goes on, and even though you regretfully said you were sorry (for nothing since it was never YOU to begin with)  You STILL don't give up. You open the door, time and time again, wide arms welcoming, ready to get past all the BS. STILL, nothing. No show. Cancellation.  Excuse. No show.

Years and years, pain and tears, you repeat the cycle. Years and  years you pin it to YOU and the fact that YOU must have done something wrong. You start thinking about what OTHER people are thinking. What have these other people been told, so you feel you need to keep trying so that YOU are not the one that 'gave up'.

Until one moment, one brief little span of time, where it becomes SO crystal CLEAR. There was a moment of connection, a glimmer of hope, then something else in that brief moment becomes more important that you. Making it painfully obvious that if something else is more important than you, in this little moment, that could have changed everything, they decide that something ELSE must take priority. In this spec of time, you realize that you just are not that important. Otherwise they would have made TIME for you in that moment. They would have MADE time for you all those years. It is this instant that you realize, perhaps for the first time, that they have made a conscious choice NOT to be a part of your life. They have made a CONSCIOUS CHOICE not to be in your life.

For me it was a huge AH HA moment. Years of emotions flowed through me. It was in this moment that I decided to let the door close. I decided to be 'done' with the whole thing. It was time to stop blaming myself for something that had nothing to do with ME.

"When someone walks out of your life, let them. There's no use in wasting your time on people that leave you. What you make of yourself and your future is no longer tied to them. Yea, you may miss them, but remember that you weren't the one who gave up".

NOW I finally realize it was NOT me.

I still don't know WHY. I still don't UNDERSTAND. I've analyzed it over and over in my head. I've played every possible scenario. All I know is that I no longer can put myself through the torment.

I'm not taking the fall for this any more. I'm not feeling the guilt for this any more. I'm not feeling the pain for this any more. I'm not feeling the shame for this any more.

I have done. I have not 'tried', I have done, all I could possibly do.

Alethea Anderson


"She Was Done"

A friend of mine shared this on Facebook, I read it, I noticed half way through I was holding my breath... My eyes were a paragraph down while my mind was still reading above. I was feeling each word, powerful emotion swelling from within, I feel as if I could have written this line for line, or that it was written for me. 

SHE WAS DONE. by Adrienne Pierot

She was done not fully being herself.

She realized she was the only self she could be—and not being unapologetically true to herself was a disservice to her soul and the world.

She was done listening to the noise of the world. She realized the quiet voice of her own soul was the most beautiful sound.

She was done questioning her motives, her intentions, the call of her soul. She realized questions seek answers, and maybe she already knew the answers.

She was done striving, forcing, pushing through and staying on the hard path. She realized toughing things out might be a sign to pick another path.

She was done with friends that admonished her to be more light and breezy. She realized they didn’t understand she swam in the deep waters of life, she felt at home in their dark depths and died if she lived on the surface.

She was done with the distractions, the denials, the small addictions that pulled her away from the true desires of her soul. She realized that strength of character came from focus and commitment.

She was done not following the desires that yelled out in her soul every day. She realized if she did nothing about them, they died a quiet death that took a piece of her soul with them.

She was done with dinner parties and cocktail hours where conversations skimmed the surface of life. She realized the beverages created distortion and a temporary happiness that wasn’t real and disappeared in the light of the day.

She was done trying to please everyone. She realized it could never be done.

She was done questioning herself. She realized her heart knew the truth and she needed to follow it.

She was done analyzing all the options, weighing the pros and cons and trying to figure everything out before leaping. She realized that taking a leap implied not fully seeing where she landed.

She was done battling with herself, trying to change who she knew herself to be. She realized the world made it hard enough to fully be herself, so why add to the challenge.

She was done worrying, as if worry was the price she had to pay to make it all turn out okay. She realized worry didn’t need to be part of the process.

She was done apologizing and playing small to make others feel comfortable and fit in. She realized fitting in was overrated and shining her light made others brave enough to do the same.

She was done with the should’s, ought to’s and have to’s of the world. She realized the only must’s in her life came from things that beat so strong in her soul, she couldn’t not do them.

She was done with remorse and could have’s. She realized hindsight never applies because circumstances always look different in the rearview mirror and you experience life looking through the front window.

She was done with friendships based on shared history and past experiences. She realized if friends couldn’t grow together, or were no longer following the same path, it was okay to let them go.

She was done trying to fit in—be part of the popular crowd. She realized the price she had to pay to be included was too high and betrayed her soul.

She was done not trusting. She realized she had placed her trust in people that were untrustworthy—so she would start with the person she could trust the most—herself.

She was done being tired. She realized it came from spending her time doing things that didn’t bring her joy or feed her soul.

She was done trying to figure it all out, know the answers, plan everything and see all the possibilities before she began. She realized life was unfolding and that the detours and unexpected moments were some of the best parts.

She was done needing to be understood by anyone but herself. She realized she was the only person she would spend her whole with and understanding herself was more important than being understood by others.

She was done looking for love. She realized loving and accepting herself was the best kind of love and the seed from which all other love started.

She was done fighting, trying to change or not her accepting her body. She realized the body she came into the world with was the only one she had—there were no exchanges or returns—so love and acceptance was the only way.

She was done being tuned in, connected and up-to-date all the time. She realized the news and noise of the world was always there—a cacophony that never slowed or fell quiet and that listening to the silence of her soul was a better station to tune into.

She was done beating herself up and being so hard on herself as if either of these things led to changes or made her feel better. She realized kindness and compassion towards herself and others accomplished more.

She was done comparing and looking at other people’s lives as a mirror for her own. She realized holding her own mirror cast her in the best, most beautiful light.

She was done being quiet, unemotional and holding her tongue. She realized her voice and her emotions could be traced back to her deepest desires and longings. if she only followed their thread.

She was done having to be right. She realized everyone’s truth was relative and personal to themselves, so the only right that was required was the one that felt true for her.

She was done not feeling at home in the world. She realized she might never feel at home in the world, but that feeling at home in her soul was enough.

She was done being drained by others—by people who didn’t want to take the time for their own process and saw shortcuts though hers. She realized she could share her experience, but everyone needed to do the work themselves.

She was done thinking she had so much to learn. She realized she already knew so much, if she only listened.

She was done trying to change others or make them see things. She realized she could only lead by example and whether they saw or followed was up to them.

She was done with the inner critic. She realized its voice was not her own.

She was done racing and being discontent with where she was. She realized the present moment held all it needed to get her to the next moment. It wasn’t out there—it was right here.

She was done seeing hurt as something to be avoided, foreseen or somehow her fault. She realized hurt shaped her as much as joy and she needed both to learn and grow.

She was done judging. She realized judging assumed the presence of right and wrong—and that there was a difference between using information to inform and making someone else wrong.

She was done jumping to conclusions. She realized she only needed to ask.

She was done with regrets. She realized if she had known better she would have done better.

She was done being angry. She realized anger was just a flashlight that showed her what she was most scared of and once it illuminated what she needed to see, she no longer needed to hold on to it.

She was done being sad. She realized sorrow arose when she betrayed her own soul and made choices that weren’t true to herself.

She was done playing small. She realized if others couldn’t handle her light, it was because they were afraid of their own.

She was done with the facades and the pretending. She realized masks were suffocating and claustrophobic.

She was done with others’ criticism and complaints. She realized they told her nothing about herself—only informed her of their perspective.

She was done yelling above the noise of the world. She realized living out loud could be done quietly.

She was done needing permission, validation or the authority. She realized she was her her own authority.

She was done being something she was not. She realized the purpose of life was to be truly, happily who she was born to be…and if she paused long enough to remember, she recognized herself.


SHE was done. I AM DONE. We stand alone, but we are one...

Alethea Anderson


Blank Spaces

...I write, because I love to write. It's a great outlet to channel emotion that is otherwise held tight within the spirit. Wrapped around muscles as tension, clouding the brain. I write to get those words, those thoughts, OUT of my head.

Not to mention I simply love writing... I love stringing words collectively together to form sentences... black and white yet dancing colorfully and creatively across pages....

"A blank page before me is a challenge. I must fill it with my thoughts and cover it with my words.... "

I write everywhere... Scraps of paper contain quickly jotted thoughts and ideas. The back of receipts, envelopes, business cards. I'm always thinking, always creating, always having ideas.

 I have this blog, a blog about my Boxer Dogs, a blog about the Universe and the Law of Attraction, I write poetry (have since high school). In a nutshell I have about 10 blogs out there in cyber land, plus nearly all social media platforms. I'm always saying something somewhere!

As I wonder "what I want to do when I grow up" sometimes I  feel I'm being called to write...  there is some message I am supposed to be sharing. I'm not exactly sure what is is though....

Until then, I keep writing...

Alethea Anderson


What Do I Want to Be When I Grow Up?

Perhaps I've led a typically, untypical working career. In the span of 20 something years I started in a retail clothing store in high school, sales job during college followed by an administrative job.... Left the corporate world when my kidlet was 3 to become an entrepreneur, sold the company, stepped back into the corporate world part time for a few years to 'get out of the house', then took on a full time field position for a number of years working 50-60 hours per week - then the company closed "due to the economy". Found another job shortly after and was laid off...

So here I am well over 20 (yet feeling like I'm in my 20's) looking at jobs that I'm well qualified for, but they all require a college degree. Degree-less, I (along with 500 others) apply anyways. I don't know how the job market is where you live, but here in California, right after you apply you get an automated message that reads "Due to the high number of applications/resumes we receive, you will only hear from us if we want to interview you".

So you don't even get a rejection letter... Which makes it even more weird if you see the same job again a few months later, do you go through the lengthy 45 minute online application AGAIN?

So I'm competing with people for jobs that paid nearly 2x as much back in 2002... however now I want a salary commensurate with my experience, but I'm competing with kids out of college. Not to mention my own kiddo will be starting college next year (WHAT?!)

To get to the nitty gritty of this article, "what do I want to be when I grow up?"

In a nutshell "happy"... the rest is yet to come!

Alethea Anderson

PS Entrepreneur really does have a nice ring to it...


The Opinions of Others

Odds are, you've been guilty of changing something in your life because of someone else's opinion. Honestly, I am sick and tired of opinions. They are from an outside view. They are from the other side of where you are (the OUTside). Opinions about you from others don't come from withIN you, they are simply a view someone else is making based on what they 'see'.

It seems other people know what is best for you. They know how you should dress. They know how you should eat. They know how you should do your hair. They know where you should live. They know what you should do for a living. They know who you should (or should not) be married to. They know how you should raise your kids. They know EVERYTHING about 'how' you 'should' do something.

BUT they don't know how you feel. They don't know how you think. They don't know how you experience your every day of  being. They don't know HOW you've experienced everything in life you've experienced. They only pick out the dark little specs of your life and that is what they choose to emphasize. They only see what they can see. They only see what they've gotten the privilege to have shared with them. They only see what OTHERS may have shown them (as accurate or inaccurate that may be).

This quote by Oscar Wilde, "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's. Their lives a mimicry. Their passions a quotation."

How POWER-FULL are these few sentences?

1. "Most people are other people." How many times have you 'been' someone else in order to be viewed a certain way or to 'fit in'. How may times have you been 'someone else' in order to attempt to avoid being judged or to try to make someone ELSE happy?

2. "Their thoughts are someone else's." Countless times other people's 'opinions' of how you should live life ringing in your ears. Echoing in your mind. Telling you over and over that you should be doing things totally different. Telling you that everything you've done has been WRONG.  Highlighting your mistakes.

3. "Their lives a mimicry." a 'fake' life. Other people 'see' one thing, while inside you are experiencing something totally different.

4. "Their passions a quotation." someone ELSE'S passions....doing something because someone ELSE wants you to.

Sometimes you can feel trapped by opinions. You feel locked in a world that they think is the worst for you. When you try to step up, they say something to pull you back. It is damn difficult to dim those opinions but you can. The ONLY opinion that matters is YOURS. YOU life your life, dammit, ignore the opinions of others. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one...

Alethea Anderson


The Bright One's Fire, Beltane

The Bright One's Fire, Beltane

April Showers, fertile Earth 
Flowers burst in Spring time mirth
Lord and Lady, perfect love
Lord and Lady, rise above
Lord and Lady, perfect trust
Lord and Lady, perfect lust
A circled star, points of five
Signify a world alive
Earth, air, fire, water
Blessed be the Goddess daughter
Spirit is five, the power within
Spring marks a time to newly begin
Abundance comes, allow it to flow
Daylight is longer, allow it to glow
A pole in the soil stands tall to sky
Ribbons spiral beauty to the eye
Light the fires, heat in the night
Dance round wild in pure delight
Blessed be to all of thee
Celebrate Beltane with me

Alethea Anderson © 2015